Ever find yourself living into a scripted future? Especially romantically? Kind of like a movie where you could kind of tell the ending already.
My parents relationship was so… we could say dynamic… but chaos would be more accurate that I found myself recreating that for the first half of my life.
In high school I was very fortunate to have a girlfriend Feebe who actually had some ability to relate whereas I was flying blind. I think she saved my life, along with my psychoanalyst… imagine being in therapy multiple times a week at 15 years old❗️Feebe just loved me and I have spend the rest of my life appreciating that.
By college I was learning fast. My girlfriend Nicky S. Was into every workshop and rebirthing class and spiritual thing, just like I was. Therapy had paid off. Studying psychology was helping. My Romantic Script from my parents was dissolving. Something other that chaos was possible.
They Nicky and I began a wild sex life full of crazy escapades (that I won’t post on fb) which was like getting an advanced degree in what to do in romantic relationship and what not to do. We started teaching the Pleasure Course sharing what we were learning.
A series of amazing girlfriends followed Nicky as co-teachers of the Pleasure Course but I still didn’t have the long term relationship skills that I needed to get into a Soulmate relationship or Eternal Date. My relationship script was still playing out subtly. Then along came Alicia.
I knew it was time to take the plunge and really commit but boy did that bring up old fears. Fortunately I had the work I was doing about transcending one’s relationship blueprint and patterns so I applied it to myself at a deeper level.
I said “Let’s get into a committed relationship, you’ve been mentioning it… and let’s go to Thailand as well to celebrate”. Alicia told me she would think about it.
She was messing with me… but it was fun. It is such a gift to be with such a powerful woman. Powerful without sacrificing her femininity. Powerful in a way that accentuates my masculinity and isn’t castrating. A relationship where we each have room to be everything from tender to strong to sexy to smart…
A relationship where we can really be ourselves unscripted.