SENSUALITY EXPANSION PROGRAM WRITE-UP
The Sensuality Expansion Program opened my life in ways I didn’t – and couldn’t possibly expect. It’s impossible to capture such a rich, life-altering, multi-dimensional experience with just words, so here we go:
For the first time in my life, I tasted the Possibility of what it is to orchestrate a life with Being and Pleasure FIRST. The glimpses started with The Resolution, a discussion with Erwan and Alicia aimed at Jeff and I realizing our perfection exactly how we were. At first, I thought to myself, how am I able to get complete with each of the things that bother me in my life so quickly? There is still so much left to address! It made a huge difference for me being able to see Jeff starting the conversation with Erwan. Sitting in that chair, I saw that it’s up to me to make it really hard or really easy. We discussed the heart of my blueprint – hiding out. Erwan helped me flush out the core feelings underneath it – the feeling small and blankness that grips up. He said to me “For you, it is going to take you forcing yourself to ACT. Understanding it by itself won’t make it happen.” By session three, I saw that there is a world far beyond the ideas I have of myself, the inadequacies, the shortcomings, even the desires. I felt the all encompassing, underlying Pure Reality – so Expansive and Generous, spilling over into all facets of Life. I felt re-birthed with the feelings of freedom and release. As Erwan said, “Being is its own reward”.
When we first started practicing Doing, Erwan & Alicia had me focus on my communication. I started off with much resistance to moving past my self-consciousness and fears of opening up. When Erwan said to me, “Sofia, we haven’t asked you to do anything you can’t do”, this light bulb went off in my head. He emphasized how exquisite of a situation this is, with so much attention placed on my orgasm, and I realized that it would be incredibly foolish to waste it by letting habitual fears own me. Erwan took time talking about cultivating Intentionality and Will. What could possibly be so significant that I can allow “it” to get in the way of Jeff & I? I got that there is no excuse for not choosing Consciousness at any given moment. No matter what.
So I started talking. And the more deliberate I was with talking, the more connection I felt with Jeff. And the more I felt each stroke on my clit. Erwan coached Jeff on feeling his finger and keeping his full attention on my level of feeling. The more attention Jeff focused on me, the more I trusted him. The more he felt me, the easier it was for me to open up to him. I had no idea it was possible to generate and experience so much pleasure in a given day! On one of the days alone, I completed two one hour sensuality exercises (where for the first time ever, I was actually feeling the strokes and not in my head wrapped up in fantasy), Jeff did me three times (twice with Erwan & Alicia coaching and once on our own), and I did Jeff once. All in ONE day! Each exercise expanded the sensations from the last. I used to think that feeling too much pleasure was overwhelming and I would just stop. “Oh no, it’s too much!” Keeping my foot on the gas pedal, full speed became the theme of my program. And I saw that as I continued to lean IN, the more I stood in the center of the circle (an analogy I came up with for being fully present), the beautiful, warm sensations just get kept flowing. Ups and downs, ins and outs (literally), waves and waves of sensations pulsated through me and into the spaces between us. After one of the sessions, with only Jeff and I left in the room, after being propelled into such a state of joy, not a word was uttered between us for ten or twenty minutes. I felt closer to Jeff than I ever have in those silent minutes.
We turned another corner in session sixteen. Erwan focused the session on bringing more dynamism into our DOing, and he did Alicia first to demonstrate. One of my favorite frames was when he stretched her lips really wide with his thumb on her introitus. Her lips were so stretched that I could feel the thickness of her skin. As he gave her light strokes on the top of her clit, still holding her lips open I could feel the small short rubs and the sharp sensation shot through my entire body. I saw how it was possible to balance feeling the dynamism while still maintaining the feeling fully. I made it my intention to allow for both active energy, yet feeling each stroke fully.
After witnessing Alicia and Erwan’s date, Jeff and I had the most sensational date we’ve ever had. He brought me up on a high quickly, with light short strokes, first down my outer lips, then on my clit. Then, not too long into the Date, he started moving his thumb on my introitus and I felt myself go down. Before I could go down too far, he took me back up by moving his finger to the center of my clit, closer to the right side. With this rise, he rubbed my clit with the pad of his finger and it felt especially juicy – buttery and warm. Then he opened up my lips and stretched them far out, while moving his right thumb in a circular motion at the base of my introitus. The juice spread all over my wet pussy, with warm sensations tingling on my inner and outer lips, spilling into my inner thighs. I relaxed my body (Erwan has been giving me tips to feel my feet) and I continued to feel the coming down. I loved the intense yet soft energy of this date and wanted more of it.
In our next session, Erwan did Alicia again – and I could feel how ready she was. Erwan started the date with light strokes on her clit, before moving into a whole range of motions – to show Jeff a range of techniques. At one point into the date, he pulled her hood all the way open, with her clit hard and popping out, as he stroked it out so lightly. Her inner and outer lips were this bright red and completely exposed. Another favorite frame was when Erwan introduced the three-point connection. When he was moving his thumb around Alicia’s introitus, I could feel the heavier pressure he was using, and then he connected it to the light feathery strokes on her clit. Alicia’s tummy, feet, and entire body started contracting visibly; it was in that moment when I could feel just how completely surrendered she was. I saw in that date that it’s by being surrendered and released that allows me to feel more ecstasy and joy.
Jeff and I had a date next, and this date in particular “defined” surrender and release for me. My heart was already juiced up from Jeff’s share about him loving me more than ever. My pussy was moist and wet I was so excited to feel Jeff’s finger on my clit. His warm hands on my sweaty crease excited me even more. I felt the tingling energy move through my whole body when he moved this thumb around my introitus and connected it to the strokes on my clit (I realized this is one of my favorite strokes). The shape of my form was released and soft – so surrendered that Jeff was able to take me higher with another deliberate, light stroke on my clit. My whole body was just rising and falling with Jeff’s hands. My legs and thighs started trembling as more and more sensations got pushed out of my pussy and through my feet. I felt myself go off in a way that I had never experienced before. What tremendous satisfaction it is to be carried this completely!
Our graduation session took place on New Year’s Eve, thanks to serendipity and synchronicity. What an incredible experience to have six people, including Erwan & Alicia present to witness my state of orgasm, with Jeff handling me with such love and attention! The date completely took off when Jeff felt me going away, re-set me with a finger lift off my clit, and introduced the three point connection between my clit, introitus, and ass. I had asked for this prior to the date and I loved that he delivered on what I wanted. Waves of release were crashing and sweeping over my entire body. I don’t even recall the moans I let out, they didn’t even feel like they were mine. And how fun was it when Erwan graduated us during one of the peaks!
These last ten days have been and continue to be a miracle, for both of us. I feel so lucky that Jeff and I were able to experience this journey together. My eyes are forever opened to the attention that Beingness deserves, and I can’t imagine not prioritizing Consciousness into my life, for the rest of it. My ability to feel Pleasure is radically transformed, or rather; the self-imposed limits have been removed so that it can shine forth as it naturally is. I am Restored, Complete, and able to be in a state of Extended Orgasm at will!